ANTI-DEPRESSANT LIFESTYLE: SUPPORT AND RECOVERY GROUPS
Support groups now exist for many serious and debilitating illnesses, and depression is no exception in this regard. Such organizations provide up-to-date information and meetings to help members and their families cope with depression. A listing of available support groups that deal with depression and related disorders is provided in the Resources chapter at the end of this book.
Recovery or 12-step groups are modelled on the principles set down by Alcoholics Anonymous, which was the first such group to be developed. There are currently recovery groups for drug addicts, sex and love addicts, compulsive gamblers, overeaters and the adult children of alcoholics. There are also separate groups for the spouses, partners or family members of those who participate in these various groups. Recovery groups combine a programme consisting of working through a series of specific steps with fellowship, support and simple wisdom. In meetings people learn that they are not alone in their unhappiness. They are encouraged to talk freely and are listened to in a non-judgemental way without being challenged or confronted. There is a spirit of respect for what people have to say and the problems they are grappling with.
I have encouraged many of my patients with depressions and addictions to go to an appropriate recovery group, often with good results. At times I have managed to locate another group member who is willing to pick the newcomer up and take him or her to a meeting of the group. I have encountered considerable reluctance in my patients to go along with this suggestion and they have frequently cited concerns about confidentiality and their professional reputations. Nevertheless, all those who have followed my suggestion have found such groups to be quite valuable. It is very important in choosing a group to pick one where you feel you can identify with the other group members. Token contributions are requested of members. I often appeal to the ordinary human instinct (possibly genetically programmed) for finding a bargain, by pointing out to my patients that at 50 pence a meeting, recovery groups are the best deal in town.
Even if one is not an addict, these groups might still be helpful and, given the large number of groups available, it is usually not difficult to find one where you feel at home. One of my patients, a woman in her mid-sixties, has suffered from severe intermittent depressions for decades despite my best efforts at medicating her with multiple anti-depressants including St John’s Wort. She would qualify as an adult child of an alcoholic as her mother was drunk through much of her childhood and died of cirrhosis of the liver when the patient was a young girl. She was reluctant, however, to go to a recovery group, so I shared with her some of the slogans that members of recovery groups often repeat to themselves and to others by way of encouragement.
To my surprise, this extremely sophisticated woman, a veteran of many years of all sorts of psychotherapy, repeated the slogans to herself several times and wrote them down carefully every day. The slogans I shared were:
One day at a time.
Just get your body there; the rest will follow.
Fake it till you make it.
These are all useful slogans for the depressed person, who amplifies his or her troubles and projects them into the distant future. Take one day at a time, the slogan urges. If you consider all possible future problems at once they will seem overwhelming and you can drown in a sea of sorrows. In the case of an addict, this can drive a person to drink, drugs or acting out in some addictive way.
In a depressive person, it can drive one to despair. In contemplating some professional or social commitment, a depressed person frequently asks, ‘How can I possibly handle it?’ Just get there, urges the slogan. Often your automatic pilot will take over and see you through. In a song written to encourage those in despair, the singer Billy Joel counsels the listener not to forget his second wind but rather to wait for the momentum to kick in. My patient used this way of thinking to help her get to a wedding which she had no wish to attend. Once there, however, she surprised herself by having quite a good time and afterwards felt very pleased that she had been able to come through for her friends and family. The slogan ‘fake it till you make it’ suggests that if you pretend you are managing, you might be surprised to discover that you really are managing after all. Things may turn out this way for all sorts of reasons. First, the anticipation of the task or event may be worse than the thing itself. In certain types of depression it is impossible to anticipate pleasure, but once placed in a pleasurable situation you may actually be capable of enjoying it. Another reason why you might make it after you fake it is related to daily or circadian rhythms of mood, whereby it is common for a person’s depression to be at its worst in the morning and to improve as the day wears on.
Some people balk at recovery groups because many of the steps are geared round the concept of a Higher Power and, as such, may offend a person’s religious sentiments or lack thereof. Nevertheless, the whole matter is generally handled with a light touch and in a non-coercive way that many people find acceptable.
In summary, support groups offer invaluable information and encouragement around specific illnesses including depression, while recovery groups provide fellowship, wisdom and tangible assistance for people with all manner of sorrows and problems.
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